Wow that was an insane semester

Quick recap on what has happened in the last semester.

Coaching an Mock Trial team made up entirely of undergraduates has been the most rewarding experience in my 2.5 years of law school. I've learned a lot from teaching them and based on my teams performances they've learned a lot as well.

A close second for most rewarding law school experience is my clinic. So far I've done two depositions, have two more scheduled. I had 140 billed hours last semester working on clinic (only needed 90). Decided that wasn't enough and signed up for another client this semester. Only my original client will go to trial. This means I won't be able to intern at the local PD office, but I think this more than makes up for it since I would just be doing paperwork at the PD office.

Wrote an appellate brief for a case that was just garbage. In so doing I seem to have impressed the professor as he agreed to do an independent study class with me so I can get a good case next semester.

My flight home for the break got cancelled because of weather. Missed my own birthday party as a result. Spent Christmas on a plane. It wasn't my worst birthday ever (I was sick for my birthday once) but it wasn't awesome. It definitely was the worst Christmas ever. So many screaming children on the plane. Every person working on Christmas seems to be disgruntled (and I can't really blame them for that).

Grades haven't come out yet so I don't know how I did this semester. I think it will be a middle of the road semester, but I'm slightly worried it will be bad. My GPA is the last thing I'm worried about as far as the job hunt is concerned though. My biggest concern is finding somewhere that is actually hiring. So far my best news is: "PD office B might be hiring by the time you graduate and pass the bar."

Bought a new suit. It was the combination of my birthday and Christmas presents. I've driven in cars that cost less than this suit. It is currently being tailored, once that is done I will probably wear it daily for a week.

Clinic Rant

A series of letters:

Dear Opposing Counsel,

It's great you want to depose my client again. Really I have nothing better to do with my time than drive 2 hours to the prison, deal with security, and then sit there while you ask questions. Really nothing better to do. Also no worries that you scheduled it during my Thanksgiving Break. I didn't want to see my family anyway.

Petition

Dear Opposing Counsel,

Remember how my client is in prison? Yeah turns out if you want to depose someone in prison you HAVE TO TELL THE PRISON IN ADVANCE. You can thank me later for calling to confirm everything was good to go with YOUR deposition.

Petition

Dear Opposing Counsel,

That's great that you were able to reschedule the deposition. It's very convenient to try and get plane tickets less than a week before the break. Plane tickets don't get insanely expensive if you wait a long time to purchase them. You are lucky I found some otherwise I was going to join you and your family for Thanksgiving dinner. Also thank you for changing the date to the middle of finals. Nothing helps studying like long drives and intrusive prison security.

Sincerely,

Petition

I'm still alive

Holy shit I overcommitted myself this semester. So insanely busy with clinic and moot court and being a TA that I don't have time to blog. I enjoy most of my clinic work, but I'm constantly busy. I don't have class Monday or Tuesday yet I'm in the law building everyday all day.

PD Office where I worked this summer is laying 3 to 4 attorneys off. The job market as a 3L right now is terrifying. Just pretending that I don't need a job and everything will be ok.

I went to 7 years of school so I could live with parents. sigh, beats digging ditches.

Jury Duty

This week I have had jury duty. Monday and Tuesday involved sitting in a room and reading for awhile then being sent home. Then on Wednesday I was actually sent to the courtroom. As we entered the courtroom my number was called and I was juror number 9 in the box. I don't like voir dire as an attorney and I don't like voir dire as a juror.

I have one piece of advice for the prosecutor who voir dired me: ask more questions. The following is a near transcript of the voir dire.

Prosecutor: I see you are a student, what are you studying?
Petition: Law
Prosecutor: What year are you?
Petition: 3rd

Prosecutor then sat down and accepted the panel. Defense attorney got up to do her part.

Defense attorney: Do you have an idea what you are going to do after law school?
Petition: I don't have a job offer yet, but I know what I want to do.
Defense: What is that?
Petition: Public Defense

The prosecutor visible reacted to that answer. Needless to say I made the jury.

I was very disappointed when we had a directed verdict. I really wanted to see deliberations. Mr. Prosecutor seemed to forget that drugs are required to prove a possession of drugs case. He couldn't find them. Moot point really since he also failed to prove possession. I did a quick poll of the jurors to find out how they were leaning. They were all leaning not guilty but for a different reason. They didn't find the possession issue that I concerned myself with interesting. They keyed in on the minor inconsistencies in the officers testimony.

I thought 3L was supposed to be easy

Two clinics and trial ad at the same time may have been a bad idea. Oh and TAing an undergrad class doesn't help any either.

Lessons learned

1. Federal Prisons are not easy to work with. Getting a straight answer about when a client will be available is like pulling teeth.

2. When a judge appoints you to represent someone he doesn't think the case has merit. I am appointed to legitimize my clients loss. This way the client will be angry with me and not the court.

3. GTA 3: Vice City is an excellent to relieve stress.

4. Holy shit undergrads are young. To my undergrads, if you invite me out to the bar with you, that's cool I'd love to come. Don't tell me you are 19 though. I'd rather not know that I'm contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Why I love North Dakota and hate Wisconsin

North Dakota has no traffic, a high speed limit, well maintained roads and no cops (not that you would want to speed if you want good gas mileage). It is by far the better of the Dakotas. South Dakota on the other hand has a lower speed limit, terrible roads, and signs for Wall Drug every couple of miles.

Wisconsin is now my least favorite state to drive in. The speed limit is low (65), the cops are everywhere (and accept credit cards in their cruisers) and the roads are littered with trash. During my recent drive through Wisconsin a trucker decided that he wanted to be in my lane at the same time as me so he ran me into the shoulder. Thanks to all the shit on the road this involuntary trip to the shoulder resulted in one of my tires exploding. A nice three inch crack so there was no hope of patching it. The nice trucker didn't bother to stop, nor was I able to get his license plate. It's ok though because I didn't need the two hours of my life it took to get a new tire, nor did I have any need for the $150 it cost. At least it was a nearly brand new tire with 70,000 mile left on the warranty. What is most important is that I'm not bitter about it at all.

I'm back at school now and kind of depressed. In two years nothing has changed. Seeing the ex is nice and awkward. At least we have half of our classes together.

PDs know how to party

People at the office organized a goodbye party for me last night. The parts that I remember were awesome. I drank so much beer, did some shots and hit on a coworker. She's really pretty and my supervisor and another attorney told me to. Then others starting betting on whether I would succeed. I drank way to much to even have a chance.

Learned a bunch of office gossip about who is dating and who just broke up. In that respect the office is no different than law school.

At some point I went through and thought of all the crimes I saw this summer that I've also committed. I'm pretty sure at some point I've committed and defended the following: DUI, Reckless Driving, Negligent Driving, Possession of Marijuana, Possession of Drug Paraphernalia, Criminal Trespass, Assault, Exhibiting a Dangerous Weapon, Minor in Possession of Alcohol, Disorderly Conduct. Crimes I have never committed, but defended: Violation of a no contact order, Malicious Mischief, Obstruction, Resisting Arrest, Driving While Licensed Suspended, Hit and Run, and Reckless Endangerment.

Next Summer I'll be a real lawyer

Plead out one of my first clients today. A good way to end, full circle. I argued a motion to suppress all the evidence in his case yesterday. Lost, as expected, but the hearing went better than I thought.

Next summer, assuming there is a job opening, I pretty sure they will hire me. They all but told me they would. I'm going to miss it. Regular readers prepare for the complaining about law school posts to begin again. Last time ever though.

Oh god I have to go back to school

I'm comforted by the fact that I will never utter the phrase "time to go back to school" again. I'm not comforted by the fact that I have to go back to school. People at the office are throwing a little shindig for me on my last day. I intend to behave responsibly and drink in moderation. yeah right. Well I am going to be responsible, I'm not going to drive, but moderation will not be the term used to describe the amount of alcohol I consume.

I got kicked out of my office today. My office was actually the office of an attorney out on maternity leave. She didn't buy my adverse possession argument for why the office was no longer hers. Something about consent making it not adverse. It was open an notorious that's for sure. How the hell am I supposed to know property law?

I'm halfway through Kafka Comes to America by Stephen Wax. Fantastic book so far. I love the reference to Kafka. For anyone who hasn't read Kafka's Before the Law (an excerpt from the Trial), please stop reading my site and go read that. It's short and awesome. And don't ask me what it means because I don't know either.

Kafka Comes to America makes me want to be a federal public defender some day so I can defend people in Gitmo. Though I hope by the time I'm qualified to be a federal public defender we are no longer keeping people in Gitmo.

Today I felt like a real attorney

Went to a new court today to help out some PD's from the office I hadn't worked with before. Something about being in a new courthouse and just hitting the ground running made me realize how much I've learned the past couple of months.

I'm constantly astounded by how little many of my clients care about their cases. They show up late for court, blow off interviews, don't take required classes or get into treatment. I've had people get a couple days of jail when they could have had the case dismissed if they would have just taken an alcohol and drug class. The clients are just lazy and unconcerned about how their actions will affect their cases. Today I had probably my favorite example of an unconcerned defendant who is just going to do as he pleases.

One attorney decided to leave court to finish some work at the office and left with me his files (which was fine with me as it gave me something to do in the afternoon). He left me with the case of Mr. Defendant. Mr. Defendant was a new case and all I needed was a continuance, very simple, something I could have handled my first week. His case gets called, I walk up and say "Petition F. Review for Mr. Defendant" look to my right where Mr. Defendant is supposed to be and see nothing. I look back into the gallery and see no one moving.

At this point I tell the court that I haven't spoken with Mr. Defendant, another attorney did, and I will go check to see if he stepped into the hallway. The court moves on to other cases. No one responds in the hallway, no one is in the restroom. I run outside and see the attorney who gave me the file starting to drive away. I get a hold of him and ask whether he actually spoke with Mr. Defendant, or just assumed he was there. He spoke with him, so at one point Mr. Defendant had been present.

I walk back into the court house, check the hall again and then go back to the court room. As I walk back into the court room a couple people sitting in the back start gesturing to me. They are pointing to the front corner to a young man who is sound asleep in his chair. After some light shaking (and some brief concern on my part that he was drunk and passed out) a very tired Mr. Defendant wakes up.

In the other courtroom the female judge went out of her way to take cases handled by male attorneys first. Weird for a female judge to be sexist, but it seemed to help me and my client. She was damn near swooning for my client and gave him a far better sentence than was recommended by the State. The client was of course a complete jackass. God forbid a judge give a worthy client a break.

Trying not to think about it or my head may explode

I now owe the federal government the equivalent of one years starting salary at the PD office I want to work at. In some ways this terrifies me because that's a lot of money and with that salary it will take me a long time to pay it off. On the other hand it reassures me because PD salaries aren't that high, so my loans can't be all that bad as compared to other people. I have friends who owe one years salary at a firm job, so I'm doing all right.

I put in my two weeks notice today. Not because I want to leave, but because I have to. Really hoping I can avoid crying this time. I love the job a lot more than last years internship, but I haven't really bonded as much with the other interns. Part of that is because I have an office to myself and I'm not stuck in the same room as another intern for 8 hours a day. The other part is that the interns just aren't as cool as Senior Intern from last year. She's currently studying to pass the California bar and then will start work at a PD office near the Bay area.

Haha (points and laughs)

Dear Prosecutor,

So sorry you lost that motion and my case was dismissed. Here is why:
1. The very clear case law on point that I cited said I should win. The end.

In the future do you think you could just dismiss these?

thanks,

Petition

I lost my latest trial

but I looked good doing it. I think they must teach the prosecutors in my state to wear pocket squares for trial because the one I encounter fairly often almost always wears one. I happen to love pocket squares so I wore one for my last trial. One nice thing I will say about prosecutors, for the most part the dress better than defense attorneys. Defense attorneys wear the absolute worst clothes. Grey plaid pants + white jacket + cream shirt + green tie = Awful outfit. Not ok for court. Seriously look in a mirror. I don't care how good of an attorney you are, you shouldn't be allowed to look that awful in court. I don't care that your client has paint stains and holes in his pants, he's indigent.

Book Reviews

Awhile ago I read "Defending the Damned" and was a little disappointed in it. It was just ok to me. The author kept calling redirect recross and I would have liked to hear about more than just the murder unit. Also I'm not a huge fan of the court system in Chicago (since it's so corrupt).

Many people suggested I read "Indefensible" by David Feige. While I'm not a huge fan of New York either, I thought this was a much much better book. It helped that it was written by an actual public defender. You can tell Mr. Feige cares about the job and the people he represents and wants others to understand. I liked his candid admissions when he did something wrong. It is so scary that defendants get one shot and there entire lives can be ruined because the luck of the draw gave them an attorney who for one reason or another screwed something up. If you haven't read it, I recommend it. You can buy it from Mr. Feige's website.

After "Indefensible" I picked up a copy of "Gideon's Trumped" by Anthony Lewis at a used book store. This is an old book (from 1964) but it tells the story of Clarance Earl Gideon and his case created my future career. It is so weird reading the book and realizing Miranda hadn't been decided yet. Criminal procedure sucked a lot before the 1960s. It astonishes me that less than 60 years ago people were forced to represent themselves in felony cases. I've had two years of law school and I was barely able to handle a simple misdemeanor case. Before law school I'm not sure I would have been able to fight a traffic ticket intelligently. I was glad to learn that once he finally got his new trial Gideon was acquitted.

PS

5. I'm sorry again about the confusion with your last court date. Things worked out in the end though, your case still got dismissed. Please keep your shit together so we don't see you again. You are to smart to pull that kind of stupid shit.

Letters

I realize this will come as no surprise to any of the real PDs who read this, but I didn't realize that prosecutors didn't know the law. I didn't realize that part of my job was teaching them the law.

Dear Prosecutor,

Why am I asking you to dismiss this case? Well let's consider this case that is directly on point that says the stop is bad. With no probable cause for the stop all the evidence after the stop becomes fruit of the poisonous tree and must be excluded. This stop was based entirely on X. My case says that stops based on X lack probable cause. Thus this stop lacked probable cause. All of the evidence in this case is a result of a search incident to arrest. A search incident to arrest is not valid if the initial stop lacked probable cause.

Sincerely,
Petition

Dear Prosecutor,

Thank you for responding by telling me that I've read the case incorrectly by citing to an older case not on point. In the future I won't be helpful and I won't summarize the case for you. In the future I will just copy and paste the direct quotes that say I'm right and you're wrong. In the future I will treat you like a child. Additionally here is a direct quote from my case directly on point showing you that I'm right.

Sincerely,
Petition

Dear Prosecutor,

No I will not agree to a continuance for you to respond to my motion. I shouldn't have to write this motion, you should be dismissing the case.

Sincerely,
Petition

Dear Clients,

1. Thank you for missing your appointment. I didn't need to meet with you to prepare a defense for your case. I'm such an amazing intern and my supervisor is such an amazing attorney that we are able to prepare defenses without knowing your side of the case. Also it's nice that you didn't show up because I didn't want to wear a t-shirt and jeans, but instead wanted to wear something a little more professional in this heat. I enjoy sweating.

2. Thank you for not returning my numerous calls. Negotiating with the prosecutor has been very easy not knowing if you have completed the numerous things discussed. Oh you weren't going to do that until you heard from me whether the prosecutor would give us a deal? And you were going to learn this from me how? So I was supposed to lie to the prosecutor and tell him you'd done X and if he agreed to the deal you would then actually do X? Ok well allow me to be the first to welcome you to the real world. In the real world things don't work like that. Sorry to have to be the one to tell you that.

3. You are crazy and for the first time I was uncomfortable being alone in my office with a client. I don't believe you, you need medication and lots and lots of counseling. I'm not that torn up over the fact that you might lose your kid because I'm not sure you should be around children. Also I am not your divorce attorney.

4. Why must you insist on taking the crappy plea when I think there is a good trial issue? You are held on other far more serious charges anyway so its not like you would be getting out of jail anytime soon. You wouldn't even have to testify. You just sit there and act pretty while I conduct a trial. The worst that happens is almost identical to the crappy plea offer. Shit more jail time really means is that the judge can revoke less of it when you violate the terms of probation.

Sincerely,
Petition

NOT GUILTY

on the one and only charge. I only second chaired this one, but I'm claiming total victory. I argued the motions in liminie, motions that were made entirely from taking other attorneys motions and placing the defendant's name into them. The judge felt the need to chastise me for them and insult my evidence professor for not teaching me evidence correctly. What sucked is that the judge was right the motion was wrong and misunderstood the rules of evidence. But I did as this job has taught me, stood there and took it, thanked the judge and moved on. I got to object a lot more at this trial than in my last trial.

I left the following as a comment to my previous post, but I feel the need to post it here to better clarify what actually happened in my previous case. I really need to edit this thing a little better.

I didn't wink wink or nudge nudge. Nor did I advise him to lie. I can see how my post kind of came across like that. To clarify I only asked him if his story was in fact more like the story in the police report. When I said "if you were X" I was referring to what was said in the police report, I didn't suggest a wild new story that came out of nowhere. I wanted to make sure he wasn't lying to me to make me think he was innocent so I explained that even if things were like they read in the police report we could still mount an effective defense.

I didn't advise him to lie. I informed him that he didn't need to tell me a better story than the one contained in the police report. I really think he thought that his story needed to be about complete innocence. My questions to him were to explain that even if what he said didn't paint him as 100% angel we could still mount a defense.

NOT GUILTY

of one charge, guilty of the other. So I'm claiming a victory. A very sweet victory considering that the defendant blatantly lied on the stand, told a bullshit story (which amounted to "the cop is lying"), constantly wrote me notes during trial says "That a lie" "He's a liar" ect. large enough that I'm pretty sure the jury could see, visible reacted to the police officers testimony constantly and was just a general pain the ass. He got sentenced to the amount of time he has already served and the mandatory minimum fine. He's going to appeal, he's going to lose and the court is going to impose costs on him.

My voir dire was pretty bad, my opening was ok, my cross of the police officer was pretty good, my direct sucked (not my fault my client was a moron) and I think my closing was pretty solid. I learned that I'm not very good at voir dire, cross comes naturally to me and jurors who give me the evil eye during closing worry me. Yeah I'm talking about your juror #3 I should have used a peremptory on you.

If only he would have accepted my subtle hints at how his testimony should be. Hey you thickheaded moron when I say "if you were X then I could argue Y", that is your cue to change your story to X. Don't continue to give me Z, I know Z is bullshit, so if you insist on giving me bullshit please give me the bullshit that I can work with. The last story you tell me is the story I will believe. There is a reason we go over the elements of the crime and the possible defenses before we ask for your version of events. Wink wink nudge nudge.

I can't get over how shocked the defendant was when the guilty verdict was read. His entire defense to the charge was that the cop was lying. I told him, my supervisor told him and another attorney told him that it was an uphill battle and that his chances were not good.

To recap, first trial and I can claim victory. I never really thought I had a realistic chance with the first charge and I'm happy I won the second charge. Next time Not Guilty on all charges. Next time a defendant who isn't a complete tool.

Today was rough, tomorrow looks better

I screwed up and didn't do something I was supposed to. Not a big deal, and no one told me I had to do it, I just probably should have known. Didn't hurt anything and other circumstances ended up making my mistake moot.

Judge was an asshole extraordinaire today (and not because of my mistake, he didn't even know about my mistake). He's racist, unfair and rude. Although he sure speeds through the pleas so we can get out of there much faster than the other judge. I prefer nice and reasonable to quick though. So happy my trial next week is in front of the nice judge.

I'm very frustrated with my pain in the ass clients taking so much of my time. I can't help you dude, there are no issues for trial in your case. Sure we can still go to trial but its a bad bad idea. Stop calling me your trial isn't until August, let me work on the person who might have trial next week. She has important issues that should win at trial. I haven't spoken with her in weeks because she doesn't call and I'm too busy dealing useless clients bullshit.

My next trial does not have nearly as good of issues as my first attempted trial. Frankly the client should have plead to the first offer. Unfortunately he has chosen to exercise his right to a trial with a jury of peers. A jury of his peers that is going to convict the hell out of him. That is the last negative thing I'm going to say. All of tomorrow I'm going to be positive and psych myself up for winning. That's right you heard it hear first Petition is going to win his first trial.

I'm so sick and tired of ironing shirts for work. I hate dry cleaning (and I'm cheap, oh so very cheap) so I launder my shirts on my own. Plus I'm good at ironing. When it was a less frequent thing and wearing nice shirts was just for pleasure I found ironing relaxing and a nice break from the hectic pace of law school. Now ironing is just a chore that has to be done everyday.

Dear Clients,

1. Yes I know it was a cap gun and couldn't actually kill someone, but the guy you pointed it at did not know this. So when you pulled the trigger three times and sparks shot out the end he became apprehensive of immediate bodily harm. Be happy they are charging you with a misdemeanor and not a felony, take the plea before they realize their mistake and change the offer. Also I realize that the cop didn't see you run him off the road with your car, but he did and it looks as though he intends to testify. No it doesn't matter that they don't have any other witnesses. Yes he counts a witness. Because he saw you run him off the road. I'm sorry the state isn't charing him, it might have something to do with the fact that YOU ran him off the road.

2. It's great that you find the cute attorney attractive, you and everyone else. Guess where you lie on her list of people she would like to sleep with: very bottom. She's seen your file, she knows that you've been stalking your ex-wife, and she doesn't find your voice mails or drawings to be charming. Creepy is the word she would use to describe them. So I'm sorry that I'm not nearly as cute as her, but guess what that's why I'm helping you now.

3. Yes I'm very sorry that the protective order your wife got against you was invalid. I realize your wife is a no good cheating bitch that lied to the judge. Yes I realize that she slept with your best friend. She sounds like an awful person. Two quick things: First, protection order is still valid until a judge terminates it, so I don't care if she lied to get it. A judge signed it and you knew about, we have no defense. Second, if she's such an awful person WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CONTACT HER?

4. Thank you for inventing that wonderfully convoluted story proving your innocence that I was duty bound to investigate despite not really believing. The countless phone calls, the subpoenas and the faxes to check on your story were an excellent way for me to spend my time. I look forward to you explaining your way out of the web of lies you have created. And just so you know, once you do come clean I'm not writing a motion for you. Take the plea or go to trial, those are your options.

5. I'm so sorry that I wasn't clear in my voicemail that just the court date for your motion got cancelled and not your actual pretrial date. Fortunately we convinced the judge not to issue a warrant. All my fault. No harm came of it, but I still feel bad.

6. Yes I know that you are innocent and I know that the four cops, the witness, the doctors, the nurses and the radio dispatch people are lying. Vast conspiracy against you. I also remember everything clearly after 3 rum and cokes and a couple beers. It's nice that we have that in common.

7. Why yes I do think your plea for 0 days in jail and a $250 fine is a good offer. No I do not think I can convince the prosecutor to do better. Yes you can go to trial and yes you will lose and yes the judge will give you jail time.

8. Seriously you need to think about this offer? I negotiated your DUI down to a fucking traffic infraction and you need to think about it? I did explain that it is no longer a criminal conviction right?

Sincerely,

Petition

I have my own office now

I have a mini fridge and two huge windows, view kind of sucks (roof of the building next door) but at least I'm not stuck in the library anymore.

I'm going to second chair next week. Going to do the cross and opening probably. I had interviews today and did some research. Also did a sentence review and asked for a continuance in another case. Pretty sure the client was lying to me about why he wanted the continuance. Was very happy when the judge just granted it and didn't ask why I was requesting it.

I've learned to lower clients expectations so when I get what I expect from the prosecutor they are happier. I don't lie to the clients I just tell them what the prosecutor is going to offer, not what I think he will agree to in negotiations. If you tell them realistically what you can get they want better. If you tell them what the prosecutor will offer and then you get better they are happy with you. It's all about Lowered Expectations.

I have a dirty secret I've been keeping from the blog. I can't keep it inside anymore so here it is: I love techno and shitty dance music. I mean I like absolute trash. Current favorite song "Just Dance" by Lady GaGa, I also love Bomfunk MC's "Hypnotic", pretty much anything by Scooter or Gigi D'Agostino and so much more crap that I don't have time to list it.

If dating were a contest

I would be an 8 time loser. It's been so long since I dated someone that I really liked a lot that I had forgotten how much breaking up can hurt. The past two break ups were pretty much painless affairs. I feel absolutely awful after this one. It's kind of selfish but right now all I want is for her not to hate me for ending things. It just wasn't working and had to be done. We had a pretty good time up until the actaully break up conversation. The drive to and from the airport was hard.

I had my first client last week who actually claimed innocence. My supervisor wasn't feeling well so she left me to do her remaining interviews. I prepared to explain the plea offer to the client as they are usually guilty and the plea offer is usually a pretty good deal. I was also prepared to explain what I would ask the prosecutor for in negotiations. Instead I had to listen to a fairly convoluted story of identity theft and stolen purses that led to the wrong person being charged for the crime. She had some documentation to back her claims and I believe but remain skeptical. (If that makes any sense). Going to do some investigating and see what happens.

Got yelled at by a racist judge last week in court. Was not pleasant at all. I hate that justice is so different depending upon which judge a client is assigned.

My blog turns 1 today

And to celebrate I'm not going to work.

I would have been awesome

My voir dire was great, my opening was solid, my crosses were perfect, my direct was simple and easy to follow, my closing was fantastic and the world will never get to see them.

The cop was unavailable due to some bullshit reason and the case got dismissed with prejudice. Good for the client, awful for me.

I was essentially useless the rest of the day. I was running on nothing but adrenaline (although I actually slept better than I thought) so when my trial got dismissed I crashed. Threw me into a bit of a funk for the rest of the day. I was really happy for my client, who won't lose his CDL now (not that he would have lost it after I earned him a not guilty verdict, but I digress) and devastated at the same time when I heard the judge say "dismissed pause with prejudice". The state moved to continue obviously but this case was continued last time because the same officer wasn't available. The judge didn't seem too pleased with the state's weak as reason. I really think the prosecutor had another look at the facts of this case and realized what a loser it was for him but didn't want to dismiss it this late in the game. I think this was a way for him to save face and get rid of the case.

The really sucky thing is that the witness that wasn't available was not important to the state's case at all. Probably would have brought that up if it wouldn't have hurt my clients chances of getting the dismissal. This whole advocating for my clients best interests to my detriment kind of sucks. So far doing what is best for my client has cost me an awesome motion and a trial.

Oh dear god why did I agree to this?

I can't think of anything I'd rather do less than a trial tomorrow. What the hell was I thinking? If I throw up during voir dire can I get a mistrial? What about during my opening? Passing out during closing?

As an undergrad doing mock trial we would sing a song before trials to calm down. The song was one our coach wrote when he was an undergrad, it went something like this:
"I like swiss cheese, I like swiss cheese I like it, I like it"
"He likes swiss cheese, he likes swiss cheese, he likes it, he likes it."

I'd also do cross examinations of really bad pop songs:

So, if I want to be your lover, I have to get with your friend?
Make it last forever?
Friendship, it never ends?
You'll tell me what you want?
What you really really want?
You want a zig-a-zig ahh?
Taking is to easy, but that's the way it is?

Or:
You're going to get me drunk?
Get me love drunk off your humps?
Your hump, your humps, your humps?
Your lovely lady lumps?
Check 'em out?

Somehow I don't think my supervisor will go for that tomorrow. I should probably choose a more recent song:
Touch your body?
Put you on the floor?
Wrestle you around?
Play with your some more?
If I tell anyone about our secret rendezvous, you will hunt me down?

Public Defender Intern - 1, Private Counsel with a coke problem - 0

Client doesn't have his license and got charged with driving with a suspended license. Conviction of that crime carries with it a mandatory revocation of your license for an additional year, UNLESS you have your license when you plead guilty and the judge signs a form telling the DMV not to do the additional year of revocation. The important thing for my story is that the law requires the person have their license renewed in order to avoid the one year additional revocation.

So my client (we'll call him License Boy) continued his case last time to get his license. Turns out he wasn't eligible for his license for awhile. He wasn't eligible until late next year so there was no way that we could continue his case for him to get it renewed. Prosecutor said offer of no jail time would go away if he didn't plea today. Told the client this and went over the plea paperwork with him. Then went to deal with the hoards of other clients I had to deal with. Today was insane. I had to push people out of the way to get in and out of the courtroom.

While I'm talking with other clients License Boy and his parents somehow start talking to a private attorney. Private attorney (we'll call him Moron) is apparently hungry for clients. He tells License Boys parents that if he takes over the case the prosecutor won't take the offer away if he continues it because he will be new counsel. He also says that he can get the judge not to order the additional license revocation even if he isn't relicensed. Now License Boy's parents are telling me that they want to hire Moron to "go to bat" for their son. I tell Moron why License Boy isn't eligible for what he is offering them, he questions my knowledge and asks what authority I have that on. I ask the two public defenders in court with me, they both agree. Moron doesn't buy it and asks me to look it up. One of the public defender is a complete bitch to him (self described) and tell him to look it up himself. Morong goes and calls someone. While Moron is on the phone I go and get a copy of the statute because I want to assure License Boy and his parents that they are doing the right thing. Moron returns as I'm showing statute to License Boy's parents and says he doesn't know my authority but he's friend says I'm right so License Boy should probably take the deal I've arranged for him. At this point the parent's start apologizing.

Story isn't over yet. I take down Moron's name and website from the business card he gave Moron's parents. When I get back to the office I tell my supervisor about it. She goes on to tell me about an interesting experience she had while doing the jail calender about 4 years ago. She shows up and the guards tell her "There is an attorney of there (points) that would like to speak with you." She looks and sees only inmates. "Where I don't see him?" she asks. "There the inmate" the guards reply. Turns out Moron got picked up for having some cocaine. First thing he tells the judge is "I'm a member of the bar and I'm addicted to cocaine and alcohol."

I then look up Moron's website. On that site Moron makes the bold claim: "I understand how the system works, and what you and I need to do before your next court appearance." He also professes to be proficient in license suspension / revocation matters. He has 18 years of experience.

So to recap. Private Attorney with 18 years of experience go his ass handed to him by Public Defender Intern with 2.5 weeks experience.

I still haven't made an actual appearance in court since my supervisor wasn't available to be in court with me today. This means my very first court appearance will be for a jury trial on Monday. If I lose I'll be devastated for a bit and if I win I will be unbearable. My head will swell so large I'll have trouble getting through doors. Voir Dire scares me, I've got the rest covered.

Tragedy

A complete miscarriage of justice occurred today: Mr. Crackdealer lost his appeal. The unfortunate thing is I think this guy might have had a chance if he hadn't obviously made up his testimony while on the stand. Hell if he could have just made up a more believable story he might have had a chance. I've lost all the petitions for review (guess I should have chosen a different name), and my appeal. The only thing remaining is my termination of parental rights with the mother of the year who left mid trial for a trip to Vegas. So essentially all of last year I did nothing that actually helped anyone and yet I still loved it.

It's weird being the 2L intern in the office this year. I liked having another intern above me to sound questions off of before going to a real attorney. Helped make me look smart when I talked to the attorneys. Now the other intern asks me questions and expects me to know things just because I'm a 2L and have done some of this shit before. Way too much pressure. The other intern goes to a school with a mandatory 2.6-2.7 curve. I also realized that with my current GPA (despite all my bitching about it sucky) actually qualifies me to graduate cum laude. If I don't slack off as much as last semester again (didn't even start my papers until finals week) I think I'll be able to maintain.

I have a case and I really want to write a motion on to get it dismissed because the cop didn't have probable cause to pull my client over. It's a good motion and other attorneys I've spoken with say it has a 70-80% chance of succeeding. The client's record is so bad and she's been in custody for so long that she just doesn't care and wants to take the plea, get credit for time served and go on with her life. I can't fault her decision, but I really wanted to argue her motion. Damn my ethical duty to put the clients interests first. She was so happy when I went to talk with her in the jail and told her she's only facing 35 days in jail and more convictions. I never thought in my life that I would make someone happy by letting them know they will get 35 days in jail.

I got an email asking me how much to sell text links on the site for ink cartridges. It's spam, but I replied anyway. If you start seeing text adds for ink cartridges then you will know two things: 1. it wasn't spam and 2. I'm making $500 a day.

Oh and I think they must teach brown shoes and black suits in prosecutor school because I've seen it on two different prosecutors. At least I haven't seen a fake pocket square so far.

I have a trial next week

3 weeks in and I've been given my first jury trial. So far I've made jury instructions, outlined my motions in liminie and started writing my opening. Tomorrow I'm going to finish my motions and opening, interview my client, prepare direct and cross and then learn how to do voir dire.

I continue loving this job.

God I love this job

And so far I'm good at it. Got a lot more free reign today. Was pretrial day so I was explaining a lot of plea paperwork to clients. The attorneys pretty much just threw the files at me and I found the clients and explained the offer. To get around my not being an attorney I introduce myself by saying "Hi I'm Petition and I work with Supervisor at the PD Office." That way they just assume I'm an attorney.

Dealt with one client today who when the attorney was talking to him he just kept crying. When I talked to him he was calm, collected and very polite. He asked me if I was his new lawyer now. After I explained that I was not he wished me good luck with my final year of law school. He cried when the judge got to sentencing. No jail time though so I guess his blubbering worked.

I'm astounded by the number of people who don't show up for their court dates, and the number of people who can show up to a 8:30 court calender reeking of booze.

Two clients shook my hand and thanked me after they were sentenced today. That was pretty cool. Starting next week I get to appear in court. I have a pretrial case for next Friday I intend to confirm for trial.

My one complaint

Actually I have lots of complaints (no pay, no office, 40 mile commute, no pay, court at 8:30AM, no pay), but the one I wish to focus on is the excellent working relationship my office has with the prosecutors. Everyone is pleasant and friendly. The prosecutors seem reasonable for the most part and don't do all the dickish things I read about on other blogs. Dammit part of the PD experience is supposed to be dealing with asshole prosecutors. At this point I think I have to start apologizing for some of the awful things I thought about them before starting.

My latest client had a really bad day. Was driving his car home from the club after having a couple of beers when some jackass in a rental car ran a red light and t-boned him. State Patrol shows up and gives my poor client who's car is now totalled a DUI. What a sucky sucky day.

I was supposed to sit through a bunch of client interviews today. I sat through one and it was interesting and I learned a bit about how to conduct an interview. The remaining clients couldn't be bothered to show up for the interviews. Now I understand why clients will walk up thinking I'm their attorney at court, they never bothered to actually meet their real attorney beforehand. I think I dislike the clients more than the prosecutors so far. Thank god for the poor ensure guy who more than makes up for all the other asshole clients.

I actually did something today

Today I went over plea paperwork with clients. Asked their age and wrote that in, asked how far they had gone in school (most were college graduates) and wrote that in. Then I explained the elements of the crime. Then I explained the rights they were waiving. I often make the claim that I learn nothing in law school. Today forced me to acknowledge that I have actually learned something when I found myself explaining the waiver of rights for memory (thank you Crim Pro II) and not looking at the form. Once that was done I explained the maximum penalty and the offer (usually suspended sentence and a couple hundred dollar fine, with conditions of probation including no similar violations, no refusal of a breath or blood test, etc). Then I asked if they had any questions. One guy unfortunately took me up on my offer to answer his questions and must have been disappointed when I had no idea. Fortunately for me the interpreter working with me at the time knew the answer and told him for me. It wasn't my fault that I didn't know, his question had to do with how he got his bail money back. They definitely don't teach that in law school.

The pretrial calender was insane today. Court started at 8:30, so I was there at 8:15 and I didn't get to leave the courtroom until 1:45. I can't remember that last time I was so hungry. A granola bar and coke is no longer going to cut it as breakfast.

Next week I get my first five cases and in June my provisional license will arrive so I'll actually be able to do something with my cases.

I guess I must have a look that says "I know what's going on" because at two private attorneys asked me questions about the docket today. I can understand the clients thinking "oh look a dude in a suit, he must be a lawyer, I'll ask him what's going on" but other attorneys should know better. I really thought I was conveying a look of terror at the beginning. Most of my thoughts were "please don't ask any questions, please don't ask any questions, please don't ask any questions" originally I didn't want questions out of fear that I couldn't answer them. Towards the end of the day I didn't want questions still, but because I wanted to get the freaking show on the road and get some food. It really wasn't our clients slowing up the courtroom today, it was the god damned pro se clients who should have gone and gotten evaluated but were too freaking lazy to take the elevator 2 floors down to get a free freaking attorney. One of them didn't even learn her lesson since the judge just appointed my supervisor to advise her right then and there.

My first client was pleading and the state offered him a suspended sentence and fine, leaving no jail time to serve and $300 to pay. The judge gave him no jail time and $200 to pay. I told my supervisor is was due to the excellent job I did explaining the form to him. She mumbled some bullshit about the "judge always does that." Whatever, we all know it was all me.

My other clients were less exciting. The DUI client who told the cop he smoked crack after being pulled over wasn't that nice. The client who was bitching about having to be at work and wanting his case to go first was also an asshole. If you don't want to be late for work, try not drinking and driving, just a suggestion, otherwise shut up an wait your turn patiently like everyone else. The homeless client that was starving in the woods and stole some Ensure from WalMart was really, really nice when I helped him understand his waiver of jury trial form. He stole like $6 worth of Ensure and now WalMart is sending him a form demanding $200 in exchange for not suing. Just another reason to hate WalMart.

I continue loving this externship and can't wait to start doing shit on my own.

First impressions

Work is awesome. Being at work at 8AM sucks. Say a mistrial on my first day. Was tons of fun. The prosecutor was pissed. Day 2 was just training, boring but required. My work last year doing appeals has helped me a lot in knowing the issues and some of the state law. Mock trial as an undergrad has helped me know a lot of the rules for running a trial. Voir Dire was new to me and a little confusing. The thought of doing it myself is a little scary. Tomorrow I get to go see the courtroom I will be working in and possibly see some of the cases I will be assigned. To start I will be given 15 or so cases. The goal is that one of them will go to trial. My provisional license hasn't shown up yet so I still can't do anything. Once I do one jury trial under supervision I can do trials on my own, without my supervisor even in the building. I didn't realize I would be trusted so much.

I've learned very quickly that life as a PD is kind of hectic. Every fifteen minutes or so my training is interrupted by another attorney stopping by with a question for my supervisor. Part of that is that she is the supervisor for all the misdemeanor attorneys and there are a lot of new misdemeanor attorneys.

Learned a lot about DUI cases and driving without a license cases. Learned about plea offers and what to expect from the prosecutors. Fortunately my office has a good working relationship with most of the prosecutors. A couple of them a real douche bags, but for the most part they seem nice. One of the attorneys is even dating a prosecutor.

I usually look for any excuse to wear a suit. Suiting up is awesome. I knew that this summer the requirement that I suit up fairly often would cause wearing a suit to lose its novelty. I didn't realize that it would only take one day for it to lose its novelty. My biggest problem is that my dress shoes are cheap pieces of crap and dig into the back of my heels. I put bandaids on the back of my heals to prevent this problem (and just bought some moleskin to see if that works better) but they can slip and fall off during the course of the day.

It has only been two days but I already know that I've chosen the correct career path. Enough pressure and excitement to keep my interested, but not the insane crazy cutthroat pressure you get at firms (or so I'm told). Everyone in the office smiles a lot and has been very friendly.

I'm back

I start work tomorrow. Not doing anything tomorrow, just watching a trial. I did a practice drive to work today just to see how long the commute would be. I'm working at an office that is located North of the major metropolitan area closest to my parents house. This means in the morning all the traffic is southbound, while I am going northbound. It took me 20 minutes to get to work (20 miles) and nearly an hour to return home. I'm so glad that my normal return commute will not be that bad. Going against the flow of traffic rules. I'm mostly just excited to not be riding the bus anymore.

I've probably spent more time picking out my suit, shirt and tie combo than anyone should. I'm going plain white Polo Ralph Lauren shirt, with a DKNY tie and a cheap ass J. Ferrar suit from JC Penney with Stacey Adams shoes with a buckle on the side. That $110 suit has lasted me 3 years so far. I'm amazed it hasn't fallen apart. It doesn't fit exceptionally well, but its better than my Haggar suit from when I was fatter. For Thursday I will probably break out the blue suit with purple pin stripes, or my grey suit with tan pin stripes. Decided against cufflinks and a pocket square on the first day. Going to slowly build up so I don't set the bar too high in the beginning. Might even through in a tie bar as a final coups de grace.

I got an interview working for the a couple hours a week maintaining the brief bank for the state Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers. I could use the 15-30 bucks a week. I got a grant for my internship and if I work the entire summer, 40 hours a week I will make $9.30 an hour. Every time I leave work early I get a pay raise.

Had some car trouble on the drive home. Middle of nowhere America at midnight my headlights stop working. Scared the piss out of me. Turned on my four way flashers and my headlights started flashing as well. Finally turned the car off and back on the the lights started working. Fortunately I was only a mile from a town with a hotel. Got to spend the night at world's finest Super 8. Took the car into the shop today to have it looked at (needed a couple other things done as well). $52 got me "We can't recreate the problem and everything looks fine. We can replace the light control stick for $340 plus labor." I declined. Time to make sure my AAA membership is up to date. Probably should put a flashlight in the car as well.

The drive took 2.5 days, including one 16 hour day when I drove 991 miles (average of 61 mph and I wasn't speeding). I don't want to even think about how much I spent on gas.

The last month of school was pretty brutal. I had a take home final in a class that I paid passing attention in at best. It wasn't taught by lawyers so some of the questions were difficult to answer. For example: "Which of the following was true of State v. Perry? (no citation given)" I don't know, which of the more than 3000 State v. Perry's returned by Lexis do you mean? I had some paper classes for the first time as well. I of course did no work on the papers during the semester. I was done with finals on Thursday and didn't finish my last paper until Thursday after finals had officially ended. Not optimistic about those grades (or any of my grades for this semester).

Things have gone really well with the latest girlfriend. I thought the whole divorced thing would be more of an issue. Hasn't really been a problem. I'm more worried about the long distance for the next 3 months. Long distance relationships suck. She comes to visit in less than a month though so that should help.

Viva Las Vegas

Any of my fellow bloggers going to this: http://www.publicdefenderretreat.com/index.html?

Rebound again

So I'm the rebound guy again, but this time the girl actually likes me and I actually like her. This to me means that it is going to end disastrously. The fact that she isn't just getting over a break up, but a divorce doesn't give me hope either. Entering into the relationship I thought it would be nice an casual and short. Thinks got really serious very quickly though. I'm cautiously optimistic about it though because she's a really nice girl.

I'm sure this is going to increase the number of visitors I get who search for "rebound guy." That is my second most common source of visitors from google, after those searching for "I hate law school."

I've been planning my class schedule for next year. I'm hoping that next semester I can do Trial Ad, a clinic of some kind, moot court and then only one legitimate class. It would be the best schedule ever. Three of my classes would be teaching me actual skills I may one day use as an attorney. Such a novel concept, law school teaching actual skills.

I finally came across the relatively knew PD blog preaching to the choir. Some quality ranting going on there. Only 2 months before I will get to do my own PD ranting again. So excited.

dating post with a little law talk

So after the last complete pile of trash that I dated I've been essentially off the market. This is a combination of choice and lack of supply. I went on a date with Internet girl and then she moved far away eight days later. It was a proof of concept thing for me. Internet dating is not as bad as I thought it would be. Unfortunately she was the only person on the website I'm using that seemed worthwhile. Surprisingly she was much better looking in person than her pictures led me to believe.

I've taken a liken to a fellow 2L since then. Friends confirm that she is in fact sane, nice and good looking. Now because she is a nice worthwhile girl I will completely and totally screw up any chances I might have with her. I really am trying to remain optimistic but if I get too optimistic I'm just setting myself up for a big let down. It is a precarious balancing test and now I'm thinking about it way too much. I'm a disaster with women.

My client from over the summer would have had oral arguments today if his real attorney hadn't waived. I was hoping he would have oral arguments so when his conviction is affirmed I could blame it on the attorney's poor oral advocacy and not my brief. Now if/when his conviction is affirmed I have to blame it on his actually being guilty or the court's utter disregard for the law.

I started caclulating how much it will cost for me to drive home this summer if gas prices stay the same. Currently looking at around $350 if I get decent gas mileage. I've purchased plane tickets for less. Plus I have to get a hotel at least once, probably twice.

And now for my exciting Friday night plans: Laundry.

Law school is boring, thus I have nothing to write about

It has been more than a month since I last wrote anything. I have very little to add that I haven't said before. I still dislike law school. Mostly now I'm just bored. I really should have followed through with my plan to try and intern with the PD office. But I so enjoy having a three day weekend that I stand by the decision.

A prosecutor came and spoke in one of my classes awhile ago. He was nice until the end when he felt the need to remind everyone that he represented the "People of the Great State of ________." It made me think of Saucy Vixon's post http://saucyvixen.blogspot.com/2008/01/why-i-do-what-i-do.html and Audacity's comment to her post, where she said "I also represent the people, one person at a time."

I've decided that preying on the 1Ls is no longer worth my while. I have now descended to the hell that is internet dating. One girl seems interesting, we've sent messages back and forth a little bit, we'll see if anything comes of it. I'm not holding out much hope.

Job shadow

I went to shadow a PD this week. I was to watch a trial. I woke up at 7AM for the first time in a month, put on my suit and rolled the minivan out to middle of nowhere courthouse. Watched some pleas (which was fairly interesting) and then the defendant showed up. The jail people screwed up and hadn't dressed him in civilian clothes. The defendant was a larger man so he needed his own clothes. Because of this his case was continued. I got to watch all of an hour of court.

The pleas were interesting. I remember from one of my crim pro classes that in order to accept a guilty plea there has to be a factual basis for the plea. Our professor never really explained where this factual basis came from. The judge I watched would read the elements of the crime to the defendant, ask the defendant if he understood all the rights he was waiving and if he remembered signing the plea agreement. After doing that she would take a minute to review the police report and inevitable say "I find the police report contains facts sufficient to support the plea."

I got an email from one of the attorneys I worked with over the summer. The appeal I wrote for her is going up for a motion on the merits on March 14th. Not looking good for my client. In the email she said "I suspect you will have the jurors eating out of your hand." That inflated my ego a little bit.

I continue improving

Grades came out awhile ago. I had one class where I did the reading beforehand everyday, created an outline, studied with my group extensively, took numerous practice exams and got my lowest grade. I had another class that I showed up for only because attendance was taken. I did not do the reading, I will be able to sell that book as "Like New" on half.com. I didn't even pay attention during class. Two days before I took some practice exams. I did better in that class than I did in the class I actually tried at (although it was my second lowest grade). At least for the first time ever the final I walked out of thinking "I kicked that tests ass" was my highest grade. Overall I did well in two classes and not as well as I would have liked, but well enough in the other two.

Hooray

Obama won Iowa.

Went back to visit the office where I interned today for lunch. Found out that the baby seagulls in the nest on the roof across the street "disappeared" one night. I think they spared me the gory details. I might go back on Wednesday to watch oral arguments. A prisoner sent a letter to my organization asking me to call his attorney to yell at him. That attorney was one of the attorneys I worked with over the summer. He has oral arguments for that prisoner on Wednesday.

Meet with Senior Intern at the office. She gave me a copy of "The Nine" by Jeffrey Toobin. I read a couple pages of it earlier and like it so far. Thank you Senior Intern. I'd read more of it but I want to watch Leno and Conan without writers again.

Leno surprised me with his ability to write jokes. I thought it was a complete hack. Turns out he is just mostly a hack. Conan was a bit disappointing. I wish the networks would just give the writers what they want. It seems fair to me.