Skelly has a post about an anti-death penalty attorney hanging herself. Feeling Pain Until the Bitter End
The post made me think about how I am going to deal with depression once I am a real attorney. I think most law students can make it through their Crim Pro classes because the Defendant isn't real to them. (Hell for most of them he's just a Δ. I think I cope in a similar manner. Over the summer I did appeals so I never had to even speak with my clients. When working with prisoners I only have to answer letters. If I don't like an issue I can just chuck the letter in the trash can and pick up another.
The idea of being assigned to real people with real issues and losing in my attempts to help them is depressing for me. I've suffered with depression in the past fairly seriously. I see a counselor at least once a month now just to keep my life in order (thankfully I got off the anti-depressants, worst medication ever). My life has been simple and easy and I've become depressed. A little part of me is worried that struggling to help people and failing will just ruin me. The rest of me is more convinced that not struggling to help people, but getting a firm job and making rich people richer would make me even more depressed.
In unrelated news the first years are absolutely losing it. Complaints such as, "Oh my god I'm so behind on my outlines for Criminal Procedure or Con Law" or "I have to read 4 million pages, outline for 3 classes and walk the dog by tomorrow" permeate the halls. I really hope I wasn't this obnoxious last year.
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2 comments:
I know what you mean. I love working with clients on a daily basis and helping them resolve their personal problems but it can be very depressing and difficult to shake off at the end of the day. Some of the best advice I've received from the old vets of the office is to use humor and friendship to get through the tough cases. If you can't laugh about it, you cry about it.
Sometimes it's hard... You need the social support of people who understand. Why do you think so many public defender types have Blawgs?
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