Why I love North Dakota and hate Wisconsin

North Dakota has no traffic, a high speed limit, well maintained roads and no cops (not that you would want to speed if you want good gas mileage). It is by far the better of the Dakotas. South Dakota on the other hand has a lower speed limit, terrible roads, and signs for Wall Drug every couple of miles.

Wisconsin is now my least favorite state to drive in. The speed limit is low (65), the cops are everywhere (and accept credit cards in their cruisers) and the roads are littered with trash. During my recent drive through Wisconsin a trucker decided that he wanted to be in my lane at the same time as me so he ran me into the shoulder. Thanks to all the shit on the road this involuntary trip to the shoulder resulted in one of my tires exploding. A nice three inch crack so there was no hope of patching it. The nice trucker didn't bother to stop, nor was I able to get his license plate. It's ok though because I didn't need the two hours of my life it took to get a new tire, nor did I have any need for the $150 it cost. At least it was a nearly brand new tire with 70,000 mile left on the warranty. What is most important is that I'm not bitter about it at all.

I'm back at school now and kind of depressed. In two years nothing has changed. Seeing the ex is nice and awkward. At least we have half of our classes together.

PDs know how to party

People at the office organized a goodbye party for me last night. The parts that I remember were awesome. I drank so much beer, did some shots and hit on a coworker. She's really pretty and my supervisor and another attorney told me to. Then others starting betting on whether I would succeed. I drank way to much to even have a chance.

Learned a bunch of office gossip about who is dating and who just broke up. In that respect the office is no different than law school.

At some point I went through and thought of all the crimes I saw this summer that I've also committed. I'm pretty sure at some point I've committed and defended the following: DUI, Reckless Driving, Negligent Driving, Possession of Marijuana, Possession of Drug Paraphernalia, Criminal Trespass, Assault, Exhibiting a Dangerous Weapon, Minor in Possession of Alcohol, Disorderly Conduct. Crimes I have never committed, but defended: Violation of a no contact order, Malicious Mischief, Obstruction, Resisting Arrest, Driving While Licensed Suspended, Hit and Run, and Reckless Endangerment.

Next Summer I'll be a real lawyer

Plead out one of my first clients today. A good way to end, full circle. I argued a motion to suppress all the evidence in his case yesterday. Lost, as expected, but the hearing went better than I thought.

Next summer, assuming there is a job opening, I pretty sure they will hire me. They all but told me they would. I'm going to miss it. Regular readers prepare for the complaining about law school posts to begin again. Last time ever though.

Oh god I have to go back to school

I'm comforted by the fact that I will never utter the phrase "time to go back to school" again. I'm not comforted by the fact that I have to go back to school. People at the office are throwing a little shindig for me on my last day. I intend to behave responsibly and drink in moderation. yeah right. Well I am going to be responsible, I'm not going to drive, but moderation will not be the term used to describe the amount of alcohol I consume.

I got kicked out of my office today. My office was actually the office of an attorney out on maternity leave. She didn't buy my adverse possession argument for why the office was no longer hers. Something about consent making it not adverse. It was open an notorious that's for sure. How the hell am I supposed to know property law?

I'm halfway through Kafka Comes to America by Stephen Wax. Fantastic book so far. I love the reference to Kafka. For anyone who hasn't read Kafka's Before the Law (an excerpt from the Trial), please stop reading my site and go read that. It's short and awesome. And don't ask me what it means because I don't know either.

Kafka Comes to America makes me want to be a federal public defender some day so I can defend people in Gitmo. Though I hope by the time I'm qualified to be a federal public defender we are no longer keeping people in Gitmo.

Today I felt like a real attorney

Went to a new court today to help out some PD's from the office I hadn't worked with before. Something about being in a new courthouse and just hitting the ground running made me realize how much I've learned the past couple of months.

I'm constantly astounded by how little many of my clients care about their cases. They show up late for court, blow off interviews, don't take required classes or get into treatment. I've had people get a couple days of jail when they could have had the case dismissed if they would have just taken an alcohol and drug class. The clients are just lazy and unconcerned about how their actions will affect their cases. Today I had probably my favorite example of an unconcerned defendant who is just going to do as he pleases.

One attorney decided to leave court to finish some work at the office and left with me his files (which was fine with me as it gave me something to do in the afternoon). He left me with the case of Mr. Defendant. Mr. Defendant was a new case and all I needed was a continuance, very simple, something I could have handled my first week. His case gets called, I walk up and say "Petition F. Review for Mr. Defendant" look to my right where Mr. Defendant is supposed to be and see nothing. I look back into the gallery and see no one moving.

At this point I tell the court that I haven't spoken with Mr. Defendant, another attorney did, and I will go check to see if he stepped into the hallway. The court moves on to other cases. No one responds in the hallway, no one is in the restroom. I run outside and see the attorney who gave me the file starting to drive away. I get a hold of him and ask whether he actually spoke with Mr. Defendant, or just assumed he was there. He spoke with him, so at one point Mr. Defendant had been present.

I walk back into the court house, check the hall again and then go back to the court room. As I walk back into the court room a couple people sitting in the back start gesturing to me. They are pointing to the front corner to a young man who is sound asleep in his chair. After some light shaking (and some brief concern on my part that he was drunk and passed out) a very tired Mr. Defendant wakes up.

In the other courtroom the female judge went out of her way to take cases handled by male attorneys first. Weird for a female judge to be sexist, but it seemed to help me and my client. She was damn near swooning for my client and gave him a far better sentence than was recommended by the State. The client was of course a complete jackass. God forbid a judge give a worthy client a break.

Trying not to think about it or my head may explode

I now owe the federal government the equivalent of one years starting salary at the PD office I want to work at. In some ways this terrifies me because that's a lot of money and with that salary it will take me a long time to pay it off. On the other hand it reassures me because PD salaries aren't that high, so my loans can't be all that bad as compared to other people. I have friends who owe one years salary at a firm job, so I'm doing all right.

I put in my two weeks notice today. Not because I want to leave, but because I have to. Really hoping I can avoid crying this time. I love the job a lot more than last years internship, but I haven't really bonded as much with the other interns. Part of that is because I have an office to myself and I'm not stuck in the same room as another intern for 8 hours a day. The other part is that the interns just aren't as cool as Senior Intern from last year. She's currently studying to pass the California bar and then will start work at a PD office near the Bay area.

Haha (points and laughs)

Dear Prosecutor,

So sorry you lost that motion and my case was dismissed. Here is why:
1. The very clear case law on point that I cited said I should win. The end.

In the future do you think you could just dismiss these?

thanks,

Petition