of one charge, guilty of the other. So I'm claiming a victory. A very sweet victory considering that the defendant blatantly lied on the stand, told a bullshit story (which amounted to "the cop is lying"), constantly wrote me notes during trial says "That a lie" "He's a liar" ect. large enough that I'm pretty sure the jury could see, visible reacted to the police officers testimony constantly and was just a general pain the ass. He got sentenced to the amount of time he has already served and the mandatory minimum fine. He's going to appeal, he's going to lose and the court is going to impose costs on him.
My voir dire was pretty bad, my opening was ok, my cross of the police officer was pretty good, my direct sucked (not my fault my client was a moron) and I think my closing was pretty solid. I learned that I'm not very good at voir dire, cross comes naturally to me and jurors who give me the evil eye during closing worry me. Yeah I'm talking about your juror #3 I should have used a peremptory on you.
If only he would have accepted my subtle hints at how his testimony should be. Hey you thickheaded moron when I say "if you were X then I could argue Y", that is your cue to change your story to X. Don't continue to give me Z, I know Z is bullshit, so if you insist on giving me bullshit please give me the bullshit that I can work with. The last story you tell me is the story I will believe. There is a reason we go over the elements of the crime and the possible defenses before we ask for your version of events. Wink wink nudge nudge.
I can't get over how shocked the defendant was when the guilty verdict was read. His entire defense to the charge was that the cop was lying. I told him, my supervisor told him and another attorney told him that it was an uphill battle and that his chances were not good.
To recap, first trial and I can claim victory. I never really thought I had a realistic chance with the first charge and I'm happy I won the second charge. Next time Not Guilty on all charges. Next time a defendant who isn't a complete tool.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Today was rough, tomorrow looks better
I screwed up and didn't do something I was supposed to. Not a big deal, and no one told me I had to do it, I just probably should have known. Didn't hurt anything and other circumstances ended up making my mistake moot.
Judge was an asshole extraordinaire today (and not because of my mistake, he didn't even know about my mistake). He's racist, unfair and rude. Although he sure speeds through the pleas so we can get out of there much faster than the other judge. I prefer nice and reasonable to quick though. So happy my trial next week is in front of the nice judge.
I'm very frustrated with my pain in the ass clients taking so much of my time. I can't help you dude, there are no issues for trial in your case. Sure we can still go to trial but its a bad bad idea. Stop calling me your trial isn't until August, let me work on the person who might have trial next week. She has important issues that should win at trial. I haven't spoken with her in weeks because she doesn't call and I'm too busy dealing useless clients bullshit.
My next trial does not have nearly as good of issues as my first attempted trial. Frankly the client should have plead to the first offer. Unfortunately he has chosen to exercise his right to a trial with a jury of peers. A jury of his peers that is going to convict the hell out of him. That is the last negative thing I'm going to say. All of tomorrow I'm going to be positive and psych myself up for winning. That's right you heard it hear first Petition is going to win his first trial.
I'm so sick and tired of ironing shirts for work. I hate dry cleaning (and I'm cheap, oh so very cheap) so I launder my shirts on my own. Plus I'm good at ironing. When it was a less frequent thing and wearing nice shirts was just for pleasure I found ironing relaxing and a nice break from the hectic pace of law school. Now ironing is just a chore that has to be done everyday.
Judge was an asshole extraordinaire today (and not because of my mistake, he didn't even know about my mistake). He's racist, unfair and rude. Although he sure speeds through the pleas so we can get out of there much faster than the other judge. I prefer nice and reasonable to quick though. So happy my trial next week is in front of the nice judge.
I'm very frustrated with my pain in the ass clients taking so much of my time. I can't help you dude, there are no issues for trial in your case. Sure we can still go to trial but its a bad bad idea. Stop calling me your trial isn't until August, let me work on the person who might have trial next week. She has important issues that should win at trial. I haven't spoken with her in weeks because she doesn't call and I'm too busy dealing useless clients bullshit.
My next trial does not have nearly as good of issues as my first attempted trial. Frankly the client should have plead to the first offer. Unfortunately he has chosen to exercise his right to a trial with a jury of peers. A jury of his peers that is going to convict the hell out of him. That is the last negative thing I'm going to say. All of tomorrow I'm going to be positive and psych myself up for winning. That's right you heard it hear first Petition is going to win his first trial.
I'm so sick and tired of ironing shirts for work. I hate dry cleaning (and I'm cheap, oh so very cheap) so I launder my shirts on my own. Plus I'm good at ironing. When it was a less frequent thing and wearing nice shirts was just for pleasure I found ironing relaxing and a nice break from the hectic pace of law school. Now ironing is just a chore that has to be done everyday.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Dear Clients,
1. Yes I know it was a cap gun and couldn't actually kill someone, but the guy you pointed it at did not know this. So when you pulled the trigger three times and sparks shot out the end he became apprehensive of immediate bodily harm. Be happy they are charging you with a misdemeanor and not a felony, take the plea before they realize their mistake and change the offer. Also I realize that the cop didn't see you run him off the road with your car, but he did and it looks as though he intends to testify. No it doesn't matter that they don't have any other witnesses. Yes he counts a witness. Because he saw you run him off the road. I'm sorry the state isn't charing him, it might have something to do with the fact that YOU ran him off the road.
2. It's great that you find the cute attorney attractive, you and everyone else. Guess where you lie on her list of people she would like to sleep with: very bottom. She's seen your file, she knows that you've been stalking your ex-wife, and she doesn't find your voice mails or drawings to be charming. Creepy is the word she would use to describe them. So I'm sorry that I'm not nearly as cute as her, but guess what that's why I'm helping you now.
3. Yes I'm very sorry that the protective order your wife got against you was invalid. I realize your wife is a no good cheating bitch that lied to the judge. Yes I realize that she slept with your best friend. She sounds like an awful person. Two quick things: First, protection order is still valid until a judge terminates it, so I don't care if she lied to get it. A judge signed it and you knew about, we have no defense. Second, if she's such an awful person WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CONTACT HER?
4. Thank you for inventing that wonderfully convoluted story proving your innocence that I was duty bound to investigate despite not really believing. The countless phone calls, the subpoenas and the faxes to check on your story were an excellent way for me to spend my time. I look forward to you explaining your way out of the web of lies you have created. And just so you know, once you do come clean I'm not writing a motion for you. Take the plea or go to trial, those are your options.
5. I'm so sorry that I wasn't clear in my voicemail that just the court date for your motion got cancelled and not your actual pretrial date. Fortunately we convinced the judge not to issue a warrant. All my fault. No harm came of it, but I still feel bad.
6. Yes I know that you are innocent and I know that the four cops, the witness, the doctors, the nurses and the radio dispatch people are lying. Vast conspiracy against you. I also remember everything clearly after 3 rum and cokes and a couple beers. It's nice that we have that in common.
7. Why yes I do think your plea for 0 days in jail and a $250 fine is a good offer. No I do not think I can convince the prosecutor to do better. Yes you can go to trial and yes you will lose and yes the judge will give you jail time.
8. Seriously you need to think about this offer? I negotiated your DUI down to a fucking traffic infraction and you need to think about it? I did explain that it is no longer a criminal conviction right?
Sincerely,
Petition
2. It's great that you find the cute attorney attractive, you and everyone else. Guess where you lie on her list of people she would like to sleep with: very bottom. She's seen your file, she knows that you've been stalking your ex-wife, and she doesn't find your voice mails or drawings to be charming. Creepy is the word she would use to describe them. So I'm sorry that I'm not nearly as cute as her, but guess what that's why I'm helping you now.
3. Yes I'm very sorry that the protective order your wife got against you was invalid. I realize your wife is a no good cheating bitch that lied to the judge. Yes I realize that she slept with your best friend. She sounds like an awful person. Two quick things: First, protection order is still valid until a judge terminates it, so I don't care if she lied to get it. A judge signed it and you knew about, we have no defense. Second, if she's such an awful person WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CONTACT HER?
4. Thank you for inventing that wonderfully convoluted story proving your innocence that I was duty bound to investigate despite not really believing. The countless phone calls, the subpoenas and the faxes to check on your story were an excellent way for me to spend my time. I look forward to you explaining your way out of the web of lies you have created. And just so you know, once you do come clean I'm not writing a motion for you. Take the plea or go to trial, those are your options.
5. I'm so sorry that I wasn't clear in my voicemail that just the court date for your motion got cancelled and not your actual pretrial date. Fortunately we convinced the judge not to issue a warrant. All my fault. No harm came of it, but I still feel bad.
6. Yes I know that you are innocent and I know that the four cops, the witness, the doctors, the nurses and the radio dispatch people are lying. Vast conspiracy against you. I also remember everything clearly after 3 rum and cokes and a couple beers. It's nice that we have that in common.
7. Why yes I do think your plea for 0 days in jail and a $250 fine is a good offer. No I do not think I can convince the prosecutor to do better. Yes you can go to trial and yes you will lose and yes the judge will give you jail time.
8. Seriously you need to think about this offer? I negotiated your DUI down to a fucking traffic infraction and you need to think about it? I did explain that it is no longer a criminal conviction right?
Sincerely,
Petition
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I have my own office now
I have a mini fridge and two huge windows, view kind of sucks (roof of the building next door) but at least I'm not stuck in the library anymore.
I'm going to second chair next week. Going to do the cross and opening probably. I had interviews today and did some research. Also did a sentence review and asked for a continuance in another case. Pretty sure the client was lying to me about why he wanted the continuance. Was very happy when the judge just granted it and didn't ask why I was requesting it.
I've learned to lower clients expectations so when I get what I expect from the prosecutor they are happier. I don't lie to the clients I just tell them what the prosecutor is going to offer, not what I think he will agree to in negotiations. If you tell them realistically what you can get they want better. If you tell them what the prosecutor will offer and then you get better they are happy with you. It's all about Lowered Expectations.
I have a dirty secret I've been keeping from the blog. I can't keep it inside anymore so here it is: I love techno and shitty dance music. I mean I like absolute trash. Current favorite song "Just Dance" by Lady GaGa, I also love Bomfunk MC's "Hypnotic", pretty much anything by Scooter or Gigi D'Agostino and so much more crap that I don't have time to list it.
I'm going to second chair next week. Going to do the cross and opening probably. I had interviews today and did some research. Also did a sentence review and asked for a continuance in another case. Pretty sure the client was lying to me about why he wanted the continuance. Was very happy when the judge just granted it and didn't ask why I was requesting it.
I've learned to lower clients expectations so when I get what I expect from the prosecutor they are happier. I don't lie to the clients I just tell them what the prosecutor is going to offer, not what I think he will agree to in negotiations. If you tell them realistically what you can get they want better. If you tell them what the prosecutor will offer and then you get better they are happy with you. It's all about Lowered Expectations.
I have a dirty secret I've been keeping from the blog. I can't keep it inside anymore so here it is: I love techno and shitty dance music. I mean I like absolute trash. Current favorite song "Just Dance" by Lady GaGa, I also love Bomfunk MC's "Hypnotic", pretty much anything by Scooter or Gigi D'Agostino and so much more crap that I don't have time to list it.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
If dating were a contest
I would be an 8 time loser. It's been so long since I dated someone that I really liked a lot that I had forgotten how much breaking up can hurt. The past two break ups were pretty much painless affairs. I feel absolutely awful after this one. It's kind of selfish but right now all I want is for her not to hate me for ending things. It just wasn't working and had to be done. We had a pretty good time up until the actaully break up conversation. The drive to and from the airport was hard.
I had my first client last week who actually claimed innocence. My supervisor wasn't feeling well so she left me to do her remaining interviews. I prepared to explain the plea offer to the client as they are usually guilty and the plea offer is usually a pretty good deal. I was also prepared to explain what I would ask the prosecutor for in negotiations. Instead I had to listen to a fairly convoluted story of identity theft and stolen purses that led to the wrong person being charged for the crime. She had some documentation to back her claims and I believe but remain skeptical. (If that makes any sense). Going to do some investigating and see what happens.
Got yelled at by a racist judge last week in court. Was not pleasant at all. I hate that justice is so different depending upon which judge a client is assigned.
I had my first client last week who actually claimed innocence. My supervisor wasn't feeling well so she left me to do her remaining interviews. I prepared to explain the plea offer to the client as they are usually guilty and the plea offer is usually a pretty good deal. I was also prepared to explain what I would ask the prosecutor for in negotiations. Instead I had to listen to a fairly convoluted story of identity theft and stolen purses that led to the wrong person being charged for the crime. She had some documentation to back her claims and I believe but remain skeptical. (If that makes any sense). Going to do some investigating and see what happens.
Got yelled at by a racist judge last week in court. Was not pleasant at all. I hate that justice is so different depending upon which judge a client is assigned.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
I would have been awesome
My voir dire was great, my opening was solid, my crosses were perfect, my direct was simple and easy to follow, my closing was fantastic and the world will never get to see them.
The cop was unavailable due to some bullshit reason and the case got dismissed with prejudice. Good for the client, awful for me.
I was essentially useless the rest of the day. I was running on nothing but adrenaline (although I actually slept better than I thought) so when my trial got dismissed I crashed. Threw me into a bit of a funk for the rest of the day. I was really happy for my client, who won't lose his CDL now (not that he would have lost it after I earned him a not guilty verdict, but I digress) and devastated at the same time when I heard the judge say "dismissed pause with prejudice". The state moved to continue obviously but this case was continued last time because the same officer wasn't available. The judge didn't seem too pleased with the state's weak as reason. I really think the prosecutor had another look at the facts of this case and realized what a loser it was for him but didn't want to dismiss it this late in the game. I think this was a way for him to save face and get rid of the case.
The really sucky thing is that the witness that wasn't available was not important to the state's case at all. Probably would have brought that up if it wouldn't have hurt my clients chances of getting the dismissal. This whole advocating for my clients best interests to my detriment kind of sucks. So far doing what is best for my client has cost me an awesome motion and a trial.
The cop was unavailable due to some bullshit reason and the case got dismissed with prejudice. Good for the client, awful for me.
I was essentially useless the rest of the day. I was running on nothing but adrenaline (although I actually slept better than I thought) so when my trial got dismissed I crashed. Threw me into a bit of a funk for the rest of the day. I was really happy for my client, who won't lose his CDL now (not that he would have lost it after I earned him a not guilty verdict, but I digress) and devastated at the same time when I heard the judge say "dismissed pause with prejudice". The state moved to continue obviously but this case was continued last time because the same officer wasn't available. The judge didn't seem too pleased with the state's weak as reason. I really think the prosecutor had another look at the facts of this case and realized what a loser it was for him but didn't want to dismiss it this late in the game. I think this was a way for him to save face and get rid of the case.
The really sucky thing is that the witness that wasn't available was not important to the state's case at all. Probably would have brought that up if it wouldn't have hurt my clients chances of getting the dismissal. This whole advocating for my clients best interests to my detriment kind of sucks. So far doing what is best for my client has cost me an awesome motion and a trial.
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