half a day to go

No computer problems today, just not understanding the questions problems. Bar examiners felt the need to throw us off by not including Civ Pro, giving us a confusing as hell con law question, three very strange torts questions, two hard as hell contracts questions and two terrible terrible property questions. Two crim pro questions though and a criminal law question (which hopefully I rocked otherwise maybe my inability to get a PD job is fortuitous).

Everyone who is just a temporary employee and proctoring or doing tech support for the software has been very pleasant an nice. Everyone who works for the bar association has been a total asshole and rude beyond belief. I'm sorry I was trying to leave the room, I'm just doing it because THE PROCTOR TOLD ME TO! So giving me attitude about "breaking the rule" is a little misplaced when I was follow the proctor's instructions. How about you go yell at the guy who has a larger than quart sized bag, or the guy who wore a hate into the room?

Turns out I'm the bitch

Laptop decided that I wanted to handwrite some of my answers today. Otherwise I think things went really well. 1.5 days to go.

BRING IT ON BAR EXAM

I'm prepared to make the bar exam my bitch. That is all.

And I thought I was nervous before my first trial

Dear Bar Examiners,

Can you say anything of importance in under 400 words? I can barely introduce myself in such a short amount of space. IRAC becomes IR and maybe some A, but no room for a C. Look I understand you don't want to read a lot of crap, but I don't want to write a lot of crap. The time limit is a more than effective means of preventing me from writing too much. Giving me a character limit just frustrates my ability to spot all of the issues and say anything intelligent about them. I realize judges will impose page limits on me in the real world, but judges won't give me 45 minutes and NO NOTES with which to prepare my pleadings.

Is figuring out whether I can learn a bare minimum about twenty some subjects of the law for a couple days really a good way of determining whether I will be a good lawyer? Because I haven't learned the law, I've learned what to say when I encounter certain subjects so I can pass. I don't really have any understanding of what a negotiable instrument is. I just know that if I see a check I should put down the requirements of an NI and then try and figure out if someone is a holder in due course. Or secured transactions, I know to talk about a purchase money security interests or when something attaches, not sure why, just know I need to do it. (For Secured Transactions the lecture said, here is what you need to know to get the minimum score to pass and then move on to easier subjects, he didn't even try and pretend like we could learn it well enough for the bar exam.)

Sincerely,

Petition

Currently I'm supposed to be reviewing criminal procedure. I'm skipping this review (two classes in law school, plus two internships applying criminal procedure leaves me over confident). Instead I'm going to focus on corporations because that subject makes no sense to me.

The final piece of advice from my bar review schedule is to get to bed by 9:30 p.m. He goes on to say "If you feel restless and cannot sleep soundly, this is normal and caused by nervousness, but you should still stay in bed and relax as best you can all night long." That is some thorough exam prep.

New rules of the universe

#1: After you indorse a check you are now required to deposit it at your bank or cash it, none of this transfer crap that makes me figure out whether it is now a bearer paper and if any of the indorsers are liable. No. Actually you know what no one is allowed to use negotiable instruments any more. Use cash so I don't have to figure all this crap out. (Also note to the UCC: it is now spelled endorse, like on the back of my check where it says ENDORSE here.)

#2: Once you get married you get half your partners crap whether its a gift, inheritance, purchased with money your spouse had before you got married, I don't care. Don't like that rule? Don't get married. Also no more denying marriage to same-sex couples, that is just stupid.

#3: No more LLCs, LPs, LLPs, or General Partnerships. There will be a vote and society gets to choose one. I don't care which one you chose, but chose one and that is all.

#4: No more adverse possession or easements by prescription. Land NOT YOURS!

#5: There shall be no more than two forms of any one crime. In no world does there need to be 10 different forms of homicide. Punish people differently sure, but there doesn't need to be Murder 1, Murder 2, Manslaughter 1, Manslaughter 2, Vehicular Homicide, and Controlled substances homicide.

#6: Microsoft Word shall be required to understand legal phrases. No Word I do not mean "joined" I mean "JOINDER" just like I typed 10 times. JOINDER. And seriously word "mens rea" confuses you, even non lawyers know that one. (Although word gets a pass on indorse because that is a stupid way of spelling it.)

#7: A contract shall be abbreviated as C, not K. K makes no sense as the letter "K" does not appear in the word contract. Π and Δ won't be used anymore as well. Instead P shall be used for plaintiff and D shall be used for defendant.

#8: A § key shall be added to all keyboards so I don't have to press alt and two other keys to type it. (Go ahead and remove ^ ` and | to make space)

Thank you, and now back to studying.